My first car was a $50 1972 baby blue, purple tinted windowed Nova with a huge, powerful engine. I’ve always enjoyed moving at fast, exhilarating speeds. The boys at my high school were envious of such a cool muscle car and rode with me often on the 3 mile stretch of Piedmont Road between small town and Northwest Expressway, windows down, hair twirling every direction like an Oklahoma tornado. The sheer power pushed us all back into our seats like an airplane taking off. Ironic of a car called a NoVa (“No Go” in Spanish) because my car went, for sure!
Solid steel bumpers saved me many a dent in parking lots and as I glided backwards down hills toward big eyed drivers as I let out the clutch way too fast, my car gasping for fuel. Moving forward….fun, exhilarating, hopeful! Drifting backwards….terrifying, unsure, helpless as my eyes filled with heart wrenching tears of frustration and losing control!!
But, over time, I learned the balance and rhythm of the clutch and the gas, alternately shifting my feet ever so subtly. Over time, my gut felt that just right moment when the clutch let go and the gas took over. Over time, there was an innate rhythm to the pedal synergy when I can put lipstick on as I gaze in my rear view mirror harnessing the power of my supercharged muscle car ever so gently as it wrenches forward to turn in a new direction. I literally see myself getting more confident and beautiful instead of gazing upon terrified victims that just happened to drive up behind my bumper that closes the gap with theirs.
And so I move forward to college in my turbo American car with red seats, to an impulsive “I think I’m just going to buy a car today” new blue Ford Explorer, to my 2000 Turbo Diesel White Volkswagen Peace Beetle (a whole other story), and then to my “family friendly” 2005 Honda CR-V. The cars are getting gradually slower over the years, but they still give me the freedom to move forward ever so gently. My rear view mirror literally and figuratively fell off years ago. I don’t need it and didn’t realize I didn’t need it until it was gone. As a result, TRUST became a real part of my existence showing me that the past has served me well while God, Angels and any powers that be are guiding me ahead to better ways of living. As I grow, the slower I go. Nevertheless, when my dream BMW M5 passes me by at 90 mph on the open highway, I see my soul trajectory. Onward and upward. I’ll meet up with it soon enough while life is being lived and I and other people are being loved.
“Life isn’t passing you by. You are carrying it with you as you grow, learn, and move forward.”
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